4

The jury are in and it’s a resounding reaffirmation of anorexia nervosa, meaning I have reached round 3: The Waiting List. On asking for clarification all I got was “well it could be a few months, depending on cancellations and reshuffles”, basically meaning my treatment depends on other debilitated people not getting worse. She also told me to read about it in the meantime (obviously unaware of the fact I have academic shit to read) so I did, and this is what I found.

Beat is an eating disorders charity which has a website running forums, pdfs, discussion groups etc etc which whilst not providing any direct treatment does virtually everything else. I read some blogs and forum posts and what made me the most sick is that despite having a 20% mortality rate, anorexia’s treatment on the NHS has absolutely no maximum waiting list time. For physical ailments it’s usually a maximum of 18 weeks. Hilariously with ED, the longer you leave it gnawing away, the more difficult it is to shake off so it makes twat all sense to delay treatment. Some of the girls (although please remember it’s not just us) wrote they were actually denied referral by their GP because “you’re just not ill enough”. Are you taking the bloody piss.

I idiotically lost a kilo in a week and the physical effects on my body have taken their toll, which would be a disaster if I wasn’t me and actually wanted babies someday. Of course it still IS a disaster regardless, and the fact that a plate of spaghetti can send me cowering shitlessly to a corner of the room means it’s time to go private. This puts my disorder in direct conflict with my inner leftie who wants me to eat for social liberalism.

I’m off to Paris tomorrow, land of mardi fat, carbicidal baguette frites and that pain o'chocolate. Let’s see how all that goes down.